Saturday, May 19, 2012

unwanted cannolis

Do you have to stick to what you don't believe in in order to get to what you do believe in?

There are gorges of jobs in NYC, but I can't believe I already have to deal with the dam of the job-hunt difficulty. I can't seem to get any job that I want. I apply and apply and no one seems to want me. But when I try to figure out what would make me a unique, must-have candidate, I'm out of ideas.

If I can't get a job aka a motherfucking UNPAID internship, then do I just apply for internships for things I don't give a damn about, just to have a job? I hate hate HATE how this world is dictated by networking because it's not that I don't know how to meet people, it's that I don't know WHERE to meet people. Everyone just thinks you're fucking creepy if you talk to them out of nowhere. Fuck you, stranger danger.

The only jobs I seem to have connections to are things that I don't care to do, that I don't really even want to do. If I don't have the discipline to do well in school because I hate it, then there is no way I'll be able to put in good effort in an UNPAID job that I don't give a shit about. But do I just deal with it because I have no other choice? How do I get from here to where I want to be? Why can't these vectors exist?

I was thinking about just applying for some fun-seeming internships, since I wasn't having luck in the television department, but I'm in the summer before graduation. This isn't the time for me to fuck around anymore. I have to get a job close to what I want to do or else I won't have a job there when I graduate.

Goal: Meet new people this summer.

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