I spent the last approximate two hours singing along to soundtracks in my room, particularly those of
High School Musical and
Smash.
I've never been in such a blissful mood doing nothing productive when I think of all I don't have.
That was my ungrateful millenial status speaking, but I'm currently in the total mood to fall in love, don't have any prospects, yet I don't feel down about it. No, I'm not thinking of it in an optimistic light. In fact, I feel completely hopeless about my girlfriend-becoming abilities, but for some reason, I'm completely okay with it.
The other day, Cha was talking about how he was sexually frustrated, in spite of the fact that he has a newly-instilled girlfriend, and I realized how I wasn't, in spite of the fact that I haven't had a sexual partner for more than a month now. I just didn't feel like I needed any male companionship for some reason when that's pretty much the sad goal of my life at the moment.
Maybe it's because I currently have my first semi-stable group of friends here in New York. I'm not completely satisfied with it, but we three can constantly rely on each other to just chill, even though we live so so soooo far from each other. 42nd St to 15th St, all the way down to Financial fucking District. Patrick and I are looking for new apartments and we're totally moving up to more of the Midtown area so that we can all stay in relatively convenient locations for all of us.
We're the ultimate trifecta: straight guy + gay guy + straight girl (moiiiii), the platonic relationship Hollywood and television has not explored yet. It's such an interesting dynamic to write about, and I wish I was back at the state of productivity I was at in the beginning of this summer rather than mulling around in this incapacity to do anything real when I don't have work.
