Monday, August 6, 2012

The Black Hole

It almost seems easier to have a boyfriend than to have an actual friend because with a boyfriend, if you don't want their company anymore, you can just break up with them and never have to see each other again, no questions asked, whereas with a friend, you can't just suddenly decide, "I don't want to be your friend anymore," because any reason just seems petty, no matter how big of a deal it actually is to you.

Sometimes, you're just tired of people, and you don't want to see them again, but when yall are supposed to be "friends," it's hard to "break up" because there are no standards for doing so.

Does anyone know how to "break up" with a friend? The last time I did it, I literally ignored every advance from the guy, and it helped that I was graduating high school and moving out-of-state for college. Now though, I guess I'm graduating this year, but I'll probably still be here, but he's still friends with everyone I'm friends with...

I wish, wish, wish I had more friends here. I miss having multiple groups of friends. Here, I feel obligated to just stick with this group because otherwise, I have no one else. I can decide to be a loner yet again, but that loneliness has always resulted in tumultuous moodiness, and I lose all ambition for anything in the world because I feel like nothing matters anymore. Not a good time to hole myself up in my den when I'm supposed to be out networking for a job straight out of graduation.

Now I'm veering again, but I just feel like dreams are just all made up post-baby-boomer-era to give the next generation more optimism after dark years of a seemingly black future.

1 comment:

  1. Joyce "broke up" with her friends this year. She basically just stopped being in touch with them. The last time I stopped being friends with someone was freshman year of college with the whole moving out thing. Anyway, I wish I had more friends as well. I just have such a hard time making new friends because I am so shy! I'm really hoping that living at the vegan house changes things.