Energy

I've had this song stuck in my head all day.

I've been pretty AWOL on here, but for good reason: I've actually been out and about these past few days! Now that I think about it, I haven't really met new people though, but I guess if I keep at it, someone will come up. I'm thinking about working in Wix Lounge tomorrow, for a studious atmosphere and a possible chance to network with fellow creatives.

My dad's been calling me pretty regularly to keep track of my job hunt progress. It's really great of him to care so much, but earlier, he called telling me that I should probably change my career path.

I haven't even begun my senior year of college yet, and he's already saying that I will fail? Maybe he's being realistic, but isn't it still way too early to tell? I angrily seethed when I hung up on him and dwelled on this fact. Everyone in school have been super supportive of me, in spite of all the rejection and lack of callbacks, but were they really just babying me because they don't have the nerve to say what they really think of my goals?

I guess friends are around to tell you that you can, while parents are around to tell you that you can't.

In that case, whose advice do you take?

I feel like that's the fire that fueled me tonight. I hunted in new terrains and just jet-packed full-heartedly applied for six jobs back to back, each with a personalized resume and cover letter. I know that I put the most insane amount of work into my job applications because everyone else I know practically sends the same resume and cover letter to every application.

If I don't have the connections, I better damn have the spirit for the job.

In the end, I want to prove everyone wrong. If no one actually believes in me, then I want to work so much harder to show that I have so much more to offer. I was about to give up on spec writing, but goddamn it, tomorrow I'm diving right back into that half-written cold open and writing it.

This summer

omgomgomg I super super miss watching Japanese dramas.

I'm watching 「私が恋愛できない理由」right now. At first, it was for Japanese practice because I hadn't touched Japanese in TWO YEARS, and I really want to interview for an internship at this Japanese TV production company in Brooklyn, so gotta brush up on some nihongo yo.

It's really hard reverting from one language to another though. I was taking Chinese this semester, so that's pretty fresh in my mind. I bumped into Sueun the other day and he started speaking Japanese to me. I understood perfectly, but only Korean came out in response, since I had just taken Korean last semester (+ was living in Korea).

"You've forgotten Japanese, haven't you?" I nodded in reply. It was so sad, but so true.

Now that I'm trying to get used to using Japanese again, my brain is just so so confused. I speak to my parents in Chinese, I occasionally text Patrick in Korean, and now I'm trying to fucking pin my Japanese back down.

The goal: to catch 'em all. I wanna be a language master.

Ahhhhhh, when am I gonna start working out again btw?? What happened to working out every day starting Tuesday? It's..... already Saturday.

This summer:
-Write spec scripts.
-Write something everyday.
-Practice all the languages?
-Work out everyday.
-Learn Photoshop.
-And still find time to read and catch up on TV.

Anyway, the drama. It's not exactly the best (What happened to the Long Vacation's and BOSS's?), but it's cute enough to keep me going. I miss squealing over romances, and I just love that this drama is about 3 girls trying to find love. I'm such a sucker for stories like this because they just make me so happy and so hopeful.

This summer, cont'd:
-Meet someone?

almost there

omg I'm almost done guys.

I've had such an incredibly busy semester. Class from 8:00am all the way until late in the evening, work on the days I don't have class. Weekends are just for myself to curb all responsibilities and do whatever I want.

I've been terrible at keeping my resolutions as a result. I haven't even been caught up with TV for god's sake. WHAT IS LIFE.

This summer, I'll be writing a lot more regularly. Because I won't be having too many overarching duties, I don't have an excuse not to write everyday, eh?

I just finished my Chinese final oral exam, which I feel really good about~ I have a business paper (gag) due Wednesday and my (only) 2 final exams on Monday! Then I'm completely free! This is the first semester I've been so lucky to finish so early, but omg, I'm going to be officially a COLLEGE SENIOR by next Wednesday. That is so crazy.

Mom won't let me buy a ticket home until I have a job this summer. :( Fingers crossed for my second round interview next week!

>>> SUMMER PLANS:

• Write everyday!!
• Read at least 3 books. It seriously should not be that difficult, but Bobst fucking blows as a library and never has any books.
• Catch up on TV! Top of the list: Revenge, Homeland, Freaks and Geeks.
• Experience more of NYC. I seriously haven't gone out nearly as much as I did when I first got here. I'm missing a lot of moments. I haven't even seen Death of a Salesman with Andrew Garfield yet!! Closing June 2 AAHHH. I think I'll go TKTS them next week.
• Work out at least 30 minutes a day. My belly is eating me up, and soon I shall be all belly.

Every Thing

This job hunt thing is making me realize that I need to be more open-minded.

I used to be so lax about everything. I accepted everything, but that was because frankly, I didn't really have an opinion about anything. We had a mock election at school in 2004; I voted for the independent candidate. I don't even remember his name, that's how much I really didn't care. Favorite food? Pizza, because that was the easiest answer to come up with. I really didn't mind it. And by god, favorite TV show? Whatever was on.

I think it's this 'growing-up' phenomenon, and being in college, that is giving me perspective on the world and in turn, giving me an opinion. But when I started having in opinions near the second half of high school, I chose to be one-sided. I chose to just have one opinion and not the other. Political views? Conservative. Favorite food? Mexican. Favorite TV show? Ok, my having several favorite TV shows reflects the fact that my love for television was burgeoning during this time.

I don't like Sci Fi, so I don't read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, much less watch the movies. I don't like reality TV, so I can't choose to turn on Real Housewives or Jersey Shore. And shut the fuck up, you organic vegan yoga-loving cult. I actually like food that tastes good.

But I guess when it comes to most things, deep down, I've always not been too stringent in my tastes. These days, I'm slowly starting to open up again because it's in me to be able to.

• I say I'm conservative, but really, I'm just fiscally conservative and socially liberal (just like many other women out there). 
• Yeah, I like Mexican and am not a big fan of the vegan organic craze, but I also like Italian, and I'm starting to try new foods and realizing other things taste good out there. In Singapore, I felt so ethnic eating all the different foods and quite liked laksa, prata, and murtabak. Just last Saturday, I went to eat Mediterranean food: hummus, tahini, chicken, and pita. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of it, but at least I know for sure now because I've tried it.
• And TV. I will always be a comedy person, but good television is good television. The Voice is pretty good for a reality competition, and as far as a group of "real" people living together causing drama, The Glee Project was my first tiptoe into that realm and I actually enjoyed myself this past summer. Awake is sort of sci-fi-y, and I love the premise. I'll get to Homeland this summer, I promise. It'll take me a while to warm up to Game of Thrones and Downton Abbey though, if ever. I'm even considering watching The West Wing and possibly even Battlestar Galactica, idk. Ok, I can go on forever when it comes to TV sooooooo stopping now.

As I'm looking for a job, I realize I have to let go. I have to start accepting a lot more. They say growing older makes you more close-minded, but I think if we're actually becoming more aware of the world, we should be more open-minded. You really have to be more open-minded to realize new things you might love.

I interviewed with Oxygen a couple of weeks ago for an internship, but the whole time, I kept thinking about how I wouldn't enjoy working there because I'm just not a fan of its programming, minus The Glee Project (teehee), because I just don't like reality. Needless to say, my attitude affected my performance during the interview greatly, and surely enough, I didn't get the second interview. But actually, I'm starting to warm up to the idea of reality because it's entertainment, and that's pretty much what people watch TV for. Most of the time, you really don't want to think. And who am I to say I don't like reality? I really enjoyed The Glee Project. I obviously have a place in my heart for "bad" television.

So my prof says he can hook me up with a chance to interview with Syfy. And in this business where cinching the job depends solely on networking, this opportunity is a much better get than the rest of my applications in which I have no people on the inside. But I didn't email him back right away because the thought kept running through my mind: "I don't like sci fi, I don't like sci fi."

But I love TV. And if I want to be there, I need to take whatever I can get for now and stop limiting my chances just because "I don't like sci fi."

Maybe it's not that I need to not care about things anymore, but that I should maybe give everything a chance.

Before you know it, I'll be giving online dating a shot in my lonely 30's.

That place between my eyes at the top of my nose hurts.

Well this is how I'll be looking for the week. I went to the eye doctor since I haven't gotten my eyes rechecked for two years now (woops), and surprise, my prescription has completely changed. I had to get all new contacts and glasses, but it also turns out that my eyes have completely dried out during my contact-wearing period. Sooo the doctor says I can't wear contacts for a week and have to apply eye drops every hour to remoisten my eyes. Bah. I haven't worn glasses regularly for a while now, so it's already getting uncomfortable and it's only day 2, sigh.

I now manage to wake up naturally after 8 hours of sleep, but I still end up getting dead tired in the middle of the day. Why bodyyyy.

I have an interview tonight (FINALLLY), but it's a phone interview. I've never done one of those, and I'm not the type of person who gets nervous, but this time, I kind of am because if all you have to rely on is purely what I'm saying, you'll hear that I usually don't know what I'm talking about. I need my gestures and body language to convey my confidence. Oh well, at least I don't have to dress up. Boo business casual.

In my TV Nation class, we're divided up into writers, producers, and network execs in order to replicate the TV industry environment. However, when we went to sign up, my class full of Tischies all ran for the network exec spots, surprising me to the fullest, because I thought everyone was more comfortable with being creative. But then I realized that no one is actually comfortable with being creative because it's so self-exposing, and sometimes you need a break if that's all you do. Well, I was vying for a network exec spot too, seeing as that's what I aim to become in the business, but network exec and producer spots filled up in a flash.

So I'm a writer.

I've constantly had this fleeting dream of becoming a writer, if only I was creative enough, had flashes of creative genius enough, felt like writing enough. I know this isn't real, but it's kind of scary, having to impress the producers and network execs with my own ideas, but at the same time exciting. I'm not afraid of taking risks, which I consider one of my strengths, and yes, I am prepping for my interview while I am writing this.

Yesterday I didn't feel like cooking, so I ordered the same Dominos order I ordered for the Super Bowl.