Classes

A comprehensive list of all the courses I took throughout my college career (2009-2013):

• Microeconomics
• Cohort Leadership
• Conversations of the West: Antiquity & the Renaissance (literature)
• Calculus II
• Commerce & Culture (writing)
• Financial Accounting
• Statistics
• Business & Its Publics
• World Cultures: Russia since 1917 (history)
• Advanced Japanese I
• Information Technology
• Foundations of Financial Markets
• Managerial Accounting
• Entertainment & Media Industries
• Film Distribution & Finance
• Elementary Russian I
• 20th Century Theatremakers (drama)
• Organizational Communication
• Introduction to Marketing
• Beginner Korean III (Intermediate Korean I)
• Business Law
• Operations (business)
• Economics of Global Business
• Intermediate Chinese II
• Entertainment Accounting
• Consumer Behavior
• International Studies: Asia (Singapore) (business)
• TV Management
• TV Nation: Inside & Outside the Box
• Advanced Chinese I
• Marketing Research
• Legal Aspects of the Entertainment Business
• Professional Responsibility & Leadership (ethics)
• Producing for TV
• Intermediate Korean II
• Management & Organizational Analysis
• Private Voice Lessons
• Globalization & the Entertainment Industry
• Technology & its Impact on Entertainment

The ones in bold are the courses I really enjoyed attending and didn't consider a chore. I realized that they all fall under liberal arts pursuits: 6 language courses, 1 ethics, 1 writing, 1 history, and 1 literature. 

I wonder, would I have not looked upon my past 4 years with disdain if I had gone to a liberal arts school? But then again, I know myself. The reason I enjoyed these classes so fondly is most likely because contrasted against my dull business classes, these liberal arts classes really allowed me to exercise the more interesting side of my brain, the side of my brain I'm rarely allowed to access in the money-driven, practical, low-risk environment that my parents and business school have created for me. Even though I was taking other classes that interested me and were "practical" (i.e. my entertainment classes), they still felt like necessities because I had to be actively pursuing a career. 

Thus, having these "irrelevant" classes peppered into my schedule every semester allowed me to stay sane. But to be honest, I probably wouldn't enjoy myself all too much if I had to write all those essays and theses every semester that the liberal arts student is regularly bombarded with.

Plus, pepper tastes terrible by itself.

Classes I still want to take:

-James Joyce class, specifically on Ulysses, because I really could never get through that book and properly enjoy it myself if I didn't have a professional guide me through it, and it's just sitting on my shelf, still brand new. My ideal syllabus: chapter deadlines, regular discussions, but no essays

-Philosophy class. The reason I enjoyed my ethics class is because it's so interesting discussing different ideas of the world and everyone sharing their own viewpoints. I'm always interested in how others think because it really helps me understand, not anything in particular, just understand. My ideal syllabus: lectures; discussions; journal entries with no guidelines, just to write, in lieu of essays. I actually bought a philosophy book today because it was on sale at Barnes & Noble and the closest thing I could get to learning about it.

-Infinite Jest class. Does this exist anywhere? I've read maybe the first 80 pages or so on my own (with the help of the David Foster Wallace dictionary) and really appreciate Wallace's usage of words, but like Ulysses, I don't feel like I'm properly appreciating the novel as a whole. My copy is literally sitting right next to an untouched Ulysses. My ideal syllabus: see James Joyce class

-More language classes, of course. If I could only choose one thing on this list to take, it would most definitely be more language classes.

The 3 Times in My Life That I Ever Held Hands With Someone

1. 
It was the summer before I entered my freshman year of high school. I was volunteering at a convention away from home. It was nearing the end of the night, and one of the other volunteers whom I had been working with that day asked if I wanted to check out the rave with him (lolraves). I said sure because there was nothing better to do.

We went and danced and because I am forever awkward, every time he tried to get close to me, I maneuvered myself away. About 20 minutes in, I was bored and decided to check out what else was going on. He tagged along.

I didn't really know my way around, so the two of us just kind of wandered and talked about things. I can't really remember about what exactly because the next thing I knew, we were holding hands, and I immediately became flustered and probably remained incoherent the rest of the night.

I eventually tired out from gadding about in circles in an attempt to unwind this confusing knot I found myself in and told him I was calling it a night. He insisted on walking me back to my hotel room. When we reached my door, I said an abrupt good night, which prompted him to ask, "That's it?" To this day, I can't tell if his leaning in was a request for a kiss or his tendency to bob his head like a rooster in slow motion.

2.
It was the fall semester of my junior year of college - studying abroad at Yonsei. Cameron and I had just found out that Sookhee and other random people thought that we were actually going out, causing the two of us to have a hearty chuckle over the matter.

Later that night, we met up with Douglas's friends from home, and on cue, we immediately introduced ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend because while Camstance wasn't our name, trolling was our game. We kept up the schtick, along with the "I'm Mexican" bit, for a while until we gave it up, or slipped, whichever makes us sound like we knew what we were doing.

The rest of the night is a bit fuzzy from there (Alcohol/Good Decisions 2012), but suddenly I was aware of the fact that Cam and I were holding hands under the table, interlocking fingers and everything. Then, one of the girls noticed and raised an eyebrow in doubt of our previous admission of relationship. I immediately unlaced our hands out of awkwardness and refused to say a word about it.

3.
It was the spring semester of my junior year of college, aka last semester. Will had recently moved to New York in search of a job, and he reached out asking if I wanted to meet up. This was during my lack-of-friends awareness, pre-therapy time, so I was eager to hang out with anyone who was willing to keep me on board when they cast their net.

We decided to just chill in his apartment in Brooklyn because going out to drink could get pricey, so I brought tequila. We chatted as if we were old pals (we weren't) and took some shots for the sole purpose of taking shots (Alcohol/Good Decisions 2016). The Mexican sting ended up being a little too much after the fifth shot, so he tossed me a beer.

Eventually we ran out of things to say (it took 20 minutes), so Will suggested we watch a movie. When we could find nothing good on HBO, we skimmed through the torrented collection on his laptop. He was a little too upset that I had never seen Kung Fu Panda, so I just submitted to the idea of watching anything that wouldn't require me to fake conversation for another 2 hours. He decided that watching on his bed would be more comfortable. I couldn't agree more because I innocently + lazily love beds, so we nestled in, but not close.

I couldn't feel the tequila before, but now I couldn't keep my laughter in. Everything on the screen was just, so, funny. 5 minutes in, and I think I was just laughing at movement. 1 minute after that I realized our hands, cold from clutching chilled beer bottles for 10 awkward conversational minutes, were providing each other with warmth. And here I thought that holding hands in bed during movies was just a thing of the movies.


Guys' hands have a sinister way of sliding their fingers into yours, like 5 snakes in the grass. (Or 10 snakes hugging? Is my serpentine imagery failing?)

But the moment I realize that our fingers are intertwined, I feel warm and safe and, most of all, loved, just for a second, before I decide that I feel too uncomfortable with this manual intimacy. Or any form of intimacy as a matter of fact.

Is it sad that in my head, I push all the bases up one and consider "holding hands" homeplate?

Sometimes I hold hands with myself in bed at night just to feel something because I'm an asexual vagina.
— conzjiang (@conzjiang) November 6, 2012

almost there

omg I'm almost done guys.

I've had such an incredibly busy semester. Class from 8:00am all the way until late in the evening, work on the days I don't have class. Weekends are just for myself to curb all responsibilities and do whatever I want.

I've been terrible at keeping my resolutions as a result. I haven't even been caught up with TV for god's sake. WHAT IS LIFE.

This summer, I'll be writing a lot more regularly. Because I won't be having too many overarching duties, I don't have an excuse not to write everyday, eh?

I just finished my Chinese final oral exam, which I feel really good about~ I have a business paper (gag) due Wednesday and my (only) 2 final exams on Monday! Then I'm completely free! This is the first semester I've been so lucky to finish so early, but omg, I'm going to be officially a COLLEGE SENIOR by next Wednesday. That is so crazy.

Mom won't let me buy a ticket home until I have a job this summer. :( Fingers crossed for my second round interview next week!

>>> SUMMER PLANS:

• Write everyday!!
• Read at least 3 books. It seriously should not be that difficult, but Bobst fucking blows as a library and never has any books.
• Catch up on TV! Top of the list: Revenge, Homeland, Freaks and Geeks.
• Experience more of NYC. I seriously haven't gone out nearly as much as I did when I first got here. I'm missing a lot of moments. I haven't even seen Death of a Salesman with Andrew Garfield yet!! Closing June 2 AAHHH. I think I'll go TKTS them next week.
• Work out at least 30 minutes a day. My belly is eating me up, and soon I shall be all belly.

5 Things

5 Things That Made Me Happy Recently:

1. My super ability to be in the mood to churn out quality cover letter after cover letter the other day and knock out 6 internship applications.
2. Getting a new super soft (and free!) mattress to sleep on. I never wanna get out of bed ever again. As a matter of fact, guess where this post is being written?
3. Being done with midterms. Freedom tastes so so sweet.
4. Reconnecting with some people for a bit and possibly being able to hang out with them soon: Derek, Willie, and maybe even Will.
5. Having one-on-one personal talks and doing nails together with Han like the old days when we used to live together.

Simplicity

5 Things That Made Me Happy Recently:

1. Being artsy - Creativity opens the mind. I hate being in this business school where even though they strive for "innovative thinking," no one here seems to expand their mind beyond finance and stocks. The other day, I handmade 6 coasters and started making my planner, and both activities made me as gleeful as can be.
   
   
   I like the 2 on the bottom left the best. :)
   
   
2. Self-sustainable living - No, I'm not as hardcore as this wording comes off as. By "self-sustainable," I mean my being able to fend for myself in survival skills. I prepared all my meals on Friday- grilled cheese, spaghetti, ramen. Albeit, they aren't the healthiest meals, but I'm gettin' there. I even worked out! But only for 30 mins instead of the designated one hour D:
3. Cheap grocery shopping in Chinatown - omg, I didn't realize how cheap food in Chinatown was!! I bought a box of fresh Driscoll strawberries for $1.50, a bag of clementine oranges for $2.50, a pound of grapes for $1, and 2 heads of broccoli for $1. :D Ahh, the cheapness is tingling my Asian genes to giddiness~~
4. The most recent episode of Parks & Rec - It was so great!! I haven't laughed so hard in so long. Classic Parks & Rec being classic. :] And omg Martin Starr! I had to pause the TV so that I could sufficiently freak out.
5. Knowing TV to a good extent - In TV Management, I was able to answer several questions regarding the technicalities of the television industry, making me feel so knowledgeable about the industry I want to be in. I also just love that class. ♥