Can you see my nails??

My hands look so odd on their own, so I couldn't justify a close-up hand shot, but my nails are a dark purple to scarlet red gradient. :3 I blended them myself, I'm so proud~

McLife

These days, one of the reasons I dread even getting out of bed on a day without work is because then that means I have to find a means to feed myself for the day.

For some reason, anytime I try to cook something, even if I've followed all the instructions to the dot, I still can't get myself to think it's edible. I can't tell if it's because I psychologically convince myself it's disgusting, but I don't ever think what I cook tastes good. Since I live in this city where groceries are just as expensive as eating out, I don't have any incentive to take the time to drudge through the labor of cooking when I can pay the same amount of money to do absolutely nothing except wait for the food to be set in front of me.

Sadly though, I live across the street from a 24-hour McDonald's, and with my abnormal sleeping habits, it's the only thing that complements my unhuman (inhuman?) ways. My room is embarrassingly always laden with empty McDonald's bags and cups.

Today I'm eating a salad though to make myself feel better. But then I added on a medium fries because.

There's a salad under this bag that isn't pictured but that reflects the effect it will have on my health anyway so yolo.

The only way I feel like I'm doing something with my life is when I'm experiencing another's because there's absolutely nothing going on in mine/I don't know what to do in this city by myself. I spent the day reading books at Barnes & Noble and feel like I've accomplished something. Now I come home and plop myself onto my bed ready to eat my McDonald's salad, medium fries, and watch Sex & the City (but after writing this entry at my desk because for some reason the AC doesn't reach my bed ?? ).

How does anyone who moves to a new city by themselves meet people by themselves? Craigslist is the creepiest place ever, guys.

I'm considering getting up and moving to a hick town no one's ever heard of in Iowa because at least the people there will be less into their own lives than everyone here.

Stripes

Yay nails~

Summer time

Watermelon nails ♥

I've had these for almost two weeks now. My nails are growing long and it's getting hard to type and text, but I love these cuties too much to get rid of them to cut my nails :'(

So until I can think of a new nail pattern to do, I'll have to deal with being Ms. Crab Hands.

the "what-the-fuck"

Let's call it the "what-the-fuck."

I had showered and changed into my PJs and snuggled up on my beanbag watching Freaks and Geeks when I suddenly decided that I should just go out. It was only 12:30am.

So I just got up and changed back into nice clothes and put my contacts back in and was ready to go out. I didn't care if I didn't have anyone else because I don't ever have anyone else anymore. I hadn't gone out in NYC at all even though I've been 21 for a while, so it was about damn time that I got off my lazy ass and aimed to have the fun that I had every fucking night in Seoul.

I headed over to Lower East Side to a bar that Childish Gambino was spinning at for the night, but by the time I got there, there was a line. I waited 20 minutes and never got in because they just closed.

So I decided to go up to K-town and hit this new lounge that opened a month ago. I waited for the subway for about 10 minutes, but when I realized that it was already past 2am and I wouldn't make it up there until probably close to 3am when everyone's probably done, I just decided that I should just head home.

So home it was. I waited close to another 20 minutes until the train finally came. And now I am snuggled back up on my bean bag and kind of in the mood to watch American Wedding, but should I care more about my health and just go to bed instead of staying up for another 2 hours until 5am to watch a movie?

Maybe I just deserve to do something today after this completely failed night and life.

Years old.

21 now and not quite sure what to do about it.

That place between my eyes at the top of my nose hurts.

Well this is how I'll be looking for the week. I went to the eye doctor since I haven't gotten my eyes rechecked for two years now (woops), and surprise, my prescription has completely changed. I had to get all new contacts and glasses, but it also turns out that my eyes have completely dried out during my contact-wearing period. Sooo the doctor says I can't wear contacts for a week and have to apply eye drops every hour to remoisten my eyes. Bah. I haven't worn glasses regularly for a while now, so it's already getting uncomfortable and it's only day 2, sigh.

I now manage to wake up naturally after 8 hours of sleep, but I still end up getting dead tired in the middle of the day. Why bodyyyy.

I have an interview tonight (FINALLLY), but it's a phone interview. I've never done one of those, and I'm not the type of person who gets nervous, but this time, I kind of am because if all you have to rely on is purely what I'm saying, you'll hear that I usually don't know what I'm talking about. I need my gestures and body language to convey my confidence. Oh well, at least I don't have to dress up. Boo business casual.

In my TV Nation class, we're divided up into writers, producers, and network execs in order to replicate the TV industry environment. However, when we went to sign up, my class full of Tischies all ran for the network exec spots, surprising me to the fullest, because I thought everyone was more comfortable with being creative. But then I realized that no one is actually comfortable with being creative because it's so self-exposing, and sometimes you need a break if that's all you do. Well, I was vying for a network exec spot too, seeing as that's what I aim to become in the business, but network exec and producer spots filled up in a flash.

So I'm a writer.

I've constantly had this fleeting dream of becoming a writer, if only I was creative enough, had flashes of creative genius enough, felt like writing enough. I know this isn't real, but it's kind of scary, having to impress the producers and network execs with my own ideas, but at the same time exciting. I'm not afraid of taking risks, which I consider one of my strengths, and yes, I am prepping for my interview while I am writing this.

Yesterday I didn't feel like cooking, so I ordered the same Dominos order I ordered for the Super Bowl.

Welcome 2012.

Sorry that my New Year's post is so late. All my posts are so late. :(

NEW YEAR'S PICS

I spent New Year's in Austin with Lauren, Callie, and Jordon, so I took my New Year's pics the next morning at 9:51-9:52am as you can see above. Look at me being classy with my Galaxy Nexus.


2011 RESOLUTIONS

2011 was the year not of actual resolutions, but of goal points to achieve. Here they were:

5 Books to Read This Year

1. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
2. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
3. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
4. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
5. The Moon and Sixpence by William Somerset Maugham

Go me.

I enjoyed them all (except for On The Road...). Hell, I enjoyed reading so much that I read so many other books for leisure this year, as you may see via my Goodreads account.

Places I Want to Visit This Year

1. Berlin, Germany
2. Amsterdam, Netherlands
3. Lake Constance
4. Florence, Italy
5. Rome, Italy
6. Athens, Greece
7. Paris, France
8. Barcelona, Spain
9. Madrid, Spain
10. Morocco
11. London, England
12. Dublin, Ireland

I guess I didn't really refer back to this list when I started planning trips in Europe. Even though I might have only achieved a 5/12 here, I don't feel too unaccomplished. To make up for the places I didn't go to, I instead visited Vienna, Milan, Verona, and Genova. I still wish I could've gone to Belgium, Lake Constance, Rome, and Morocco. Maybe those will just have to wait til my honeymoonHAHAHAJKMAYBE.

I also managed to blog once a week in Korea, a goal I'm surprised I maintained, but I'm glad I did. While I'm not going to ~*~decree~*~ it this year, I would like to keep it up.

2011 OVERVIEW

Definitely a huge year for me, spent mainly outside of America. I traveled across Europe for the first half of the year, then spent my summer in China bonding with my family (yay drinking with the cuz), and finally partied it up in South Korea with some of the greatest people I've ever met for the rest of the year. 

I almost feel like I took a year off to travel (To be honest, sometimes it's been easier to tell people just that.), and it's been really great to just kind of escape from the reality of real responsibilities and uncertain futures to just enjoy life in the moment with all different types of people.

January - PRAGUE. Vienna.

February - Started my first internship at Nancy Bishop. London to surprise Connie for her birthday but also realized that I truly enjoy Patrick (a little too much for a little bit), Connie, and Han's company. Turned 20 OHMYGAHHH. Barcelona.

March - Han, Patrick, Lillian come to visit. Spring Break in Dublin, London, and PARIS ♥.

April - Pardubice. Berlin. Trivia Night @ Sir Toby's. Easter Break in Milan, Verona, and Genova.

May - Home for a bit. <3 Starting my television catch-up late-night marathons for the summer. Perfectly scheduled nights with Jeopardy.

June - Enjoyed my last sustained period of time in Texas. China.

July - Touring 西安 and 成都 with the family group of about 20. Bonded with 吴昊哥哥 over drinking and KTV. Went to work in 福州 while staying at 满姨's.

August - Quit so just chilled in 福州 with a schedule of language study, reading Great Expectations, and playing Pokemon Black, hehe. Living with 满姨。First step into Korea. The fight and lost hopes.

September - 上海 and 常州 with Connie for 추석. The first night out with Cameron and Sookhee that led to the best rest of the semester ever. :) Hmmm, big leap in a condition that I can't bounce back from. Going out every single fucking night aw yeah alcoholics.

October - Sick for a week from the MT at the end of last month ㅠㅠ. Starting to read a lot from the Yonsei library.

November - Had to start stepping up my studies after the difficulty of midterms as a result of not going to class... Tantrums. HOT JAMES. Cutting someone out of our life.

December - Cam incidents... Last Saturday night -> 십차. Leaving Korea. Home sweet home finally ♥. New York for apartment hunting (hate brokers). NYE in ATX.

Other points of importance:

• Summer made me somehow want to try writing, in spite of the fact that I hate writing assignments.
• My semester in Korea was definitely my most fun and my favorite semester I've ever had in my college career. And I really don't think any semester after it will be able to top it.
• Main thing that contributed to my great semester in Korea was meeting Cameron. I haven't connected with someone so well ever since high school, meaning it's been 3 years since I've made a true new friend. I miss our 4-hour-long dinners at Taco Bell, our quoting every show we watch together and no one ever getting us, our intense trolling forever, our theme song, our late-night GS runs, our being the same person always. I'm so bad at keeping in touch with people if I'm not gonna see them, so I really hope that I can maintain our friendship even apart.
• This whole year has been great but has seriously made me realize that while the world is vast, diverse, and thrilling, I can live nowhere but America. I'm grateful I got to visit all the different places, but I've also learned about myself culturally during this year- that I'm Chinese-American, and the melting pot of America is the only place that I can assimilate well.

2012 RESOLUTIONS

This year will be dedicated to the career search. I'm still crossing my fingers for a spring internship, and applications for summer internships will have to be tackled before I know it. Then I better be working in the summer for sure, and then I'll be a college senior. I'll have to start figuring out my post-grad career prospects and really enter the real world for real this time.

The thing is, with every big milestone in my life, I keep noting it as "finally entering the real world," but I don't seem to realize that I've always been in the real world. Life is the real world.

1. Be confident, work so hard, and make great connections at my internship(s). I tend to be shy when it comes to working with people I regard as authorities, so every time I've had a job, I've been such a nonexistent force. Not even a force. I can't be like this when it comes to my future. I need to be myself (ok not too much myself), I need to be somewhat chummy with everyone, and I need to be liked enough to be hired for a real job.
2. Wake up for Chinese at least 3 days a week. I have classes at 8:00am four days a week, and while I can't guarantee that I'll be able to make it to every class, I think it's about time that I actually wake up in the AM. This is my active resolution to target my actual goal of improving my Chinese once and for all. I want to be able to write an email to my cousin in Chinese at a rate higher than 1 word/min.
3. Eat at least 2 servings of fruit a day. I eat so unhealthily because I just tend to choose what I want to eat instead of what I should eat (sigh college), so baby steps. I actually love fruit, so I shouldn't have an excuse not to eat it. I should eat fruit whenever I watch TV out of boredom because boredom eating is mindless, and I can at least be healthy about it.
4. Work out in the fitness center for 1 hour at least once a week. I never work out. Baby steps.
5. Do at least 15 sit-ups a day. My belly has expanded so much this past year because I just haven't cared.
6. Dedicate one hour a week to writing. I find myself with a lot of free time in spite of everything, but when I could be doing something productive like reading or writing, I waste time instead by clicking all over Facebook or browsing iwastesomuchtime.com. I need some sort of creative outlet, and I've really wanted to try writing, so if I just niche out an hour each week, it would be ideal.

Bahhh, boring normal resolutions, but this year I have to really start cracking down on improving my way of life. I don't really want to grow up, per se, but I feel like I can feel a lot better about myself while still being young.

Merry anything to you.

Merry Christmas from Texas~! :)

This year's haul of gifts include:
- Scarf - from Cindy
- "Book" in which my siblings wrote messages to me - from Anthony
- New laptop! - from "parents" aka me

I haven't opened the laptop yet because I've used this one (my old one) for much too long, and it's hard to part ways with it. Plus, I'll have to customize it all over again to have all my bookmarks and programs, etc. Oh, first world problems.

I guess I've been pretty productive ever since I came home. I've finished applying for 5 internships so far, but I still feel like I should apply for more. I'll do that when I get to New York. I got to see family, hug and kiss adorable adorable Anthony, played jetlagged Mah-Jong with Lauren, Jordon, and Claudia, and lunched with Iris for a few hours at Panera Bread.

I have to start properly packing for my trip back to NY, bahhhhhhh.

But I still have things left that I want to do here :(
-59 Diner
-Denny's for chicken fried steak breakfast
-See Callie and Fang
-Lazily watch television in the comfort of my own home