It took me three years doing this major to realize I'm not cut out for it. It's too late to change majors now.
Fuck.
What now?
Marketing is interesting because I get to learn about behavior without the essays. I don't care enough to create campaigns for random companies, maintaining brand image, or spreading word of mouth. I just enjoy learning about people's motivations, telling stories, and creating perfect lists of three.
I guess what matches my interests and needs more is something that allows me to truly practice the art of human emotion and relationship that has always interested me.
I'm all about the craziness of life, instead of the nitty-gritty practicality. Every time I try to expand my mind, this business school just cuts me down and says, "No, do what's been done because we know it works."
But I think the most amazing moments in life happen when you say yes, to uncertainty, to what may lie ahead.
Even in this time of seeming despair, I don't feel destroyed by the monstrous unknown. I strangely am still able to cling onto a twig of hope.
This is new, but this is nice.
I have switched majors like 3 times, when I realized I could never be a nurse or make a living majoring in psychology. I think the process of elimination really guides us in determining our major, and we end up choosing something practical that we are decent at. I like art and science, and of course I ended up choosing science since it's more "practical" for real life. However, over the course of 3 years, I have realized I am terrible at some sciences. It's obviously too late for me as well to change majors, and I don't even know what I would change it to, so my only option is to finish my degree and see where life takes me. It's kinda of scary yet thrilling at the same time.
ReplyDeleteScary yet thrilling. That's a really good way to put it. =)
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