just writing to write

I feel like maybe I smother certain people so much because I have too much consideration to give. I'm too much of a people person that I need to have several people with whom to socialize or else I go crazy. Not that I always have to have hoards of people around me, but I can't only have one friend, but I also can't only have friends who are each individually in their own separate groups, to the point where I can't hang out with all of them together because people are too fucking scared to hang out with new people for some weird reason.

Patrick's definitely being smothered by my persistent contact. I can't help it because he's become the only person with whom I really enjoy spending time, even though I feel like I'm too much for him most of the time. I seriously can't only have one friend in New York fucking City because that completely limits my outings, especially since Patrick and I have different interests.

Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my Chinese class and I'm hoping maybe afterward we can go off and hang out some more outside of class, maybe KTV, maybe celebrate Cinco de Mayo or something. But am I being racist for thinking these diligent Chinese students seem too studious to want to party all night with me? I'm hoping at least Jonny will go out with me so that I can actually give Will the good Manhattan time he's been constantly (and incorrectly) depending on me for.

Also, maybe I can get to know Hu Li Yang aka ARMS a little better because Patrick and I are trying so hard to find me someone to date. Yup, you heard that right; I've finally settled down. But it just almost seems harder to find suitable partners when I'm actually looking.

BLARRHHHHHHH OK. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a picnic at Prospect Park with Prague people, then go home to study for my Chinese exam a little more, then head out to have dinner with my Chinese class. Lastly, after all that, there better be some amazingly fun shit going down into the night.